Ice-Breaking Humor: Funny Hockey Puns

When it comes to mixing humor with hockey, you can bet you’re in for a real puck-buster of a time. Introduction to Hockey Humor is all about breaking the ice with laughter, and trust me, the rink’s got more jokes than a referee has penalty cards. Ever tried telling a joke during a game? It might just slide faster than a rookie on fresh ice! But let’s face it, the only thing better than a slapshot is a slapstick, and that’s what we’re here to serve up.

Whether you’re a fan in the stands or a player on the bench, a little chuckle can go a long way. After all, they say laughter is the best medicine, and for those bruised egos and sore muscles, it’s just what the doctor ordered. So, lace up your skates and get ready to add a dash of humor to your wrist shot. Because when it comes to hockey, if you can’t handle the puck, at least you can handle a punchline!

Remember: When life sends a flying puck your way, just laugh it off and say, “I should have been a goalie!”


  1. Why did the hockey team go to the bakery? Because they needed a good roll to win!
  2. I told my friend I saw a hockey player riding a unicycle, he said, “That’s ice-cycling for you.”
  3. Two hockey players crashed into each other on the ice. Now they’re a pair of skaters.
  4. Why don’t hockey players drink tea? Because the Canadiens and Bruins have all the cups!
  5. Why can’t you play hockey with pigs? They always hog the puck!
  6. Why was the computer cold at the hockey game? It left its Windows open!
  7. I used to play hockey, but I wasn’t any good. I got iceolated in the penalty box.
  8. What do you call a monkey who wins the Stanley Cup? A chimpion!
  9. Why do hockey players work for NASA? They’re great at shooting for the stars.
  10. Why did the hockey player sit in the penalty box asking for seconds? He wanted more check time!
  11. How do you know a goalie is in a bad mood? He keeps giving everyone the cold shoulder!
  12. Why are hockey rinks always cold? Because they’re full of fans!
  13. What’s a dentist’s favorite hockey team? The Toothless Sharks!
  14. Why did the puck go to school? To get a little brrr-ainer!
  15. Why did the hockey player break up with the puck? It just couldn’t commit to one goalie.
  16. Did you hear about the hockey player who works at a restaurant? He’s the best at icing the cake!
  17. Why do hockey players make bad baristas? They always ice the coffee!
  18. What does a hockey player and a magician have in common? They both do hat tricks!
  19. Why don’t hockey players get hot? They always stay cool under pressure.
  20. Why was Cinderella such a poor hockey player? Her coach was a pumpkin!
  21. Did you hear about the hockey player who won a gold medal? He said it was icing on the cake!


Puck-er Up for a Good Time: Knee-Slapping Hockey Puns

  1. Why was the computer cold at the hockey game? It left its Windows open!
  2. What’s a hockey player’s favorite fast food? A Puck Stop!
  3. Why don’t hockey players drink tea? Because the Canadiens and the Bruins!
  4. I tried to make a belt out of hockey pucks, but it was a waist of time!
  5. What do you call a hockey player who spends a lot of time at the beach? Sandy Hook!
  6. Why are hockey rinks so well-rounded? Because they have ice corners!
  7. What do you call a dinosaur that plays hockey? A Puckasaurus Rex!
  8. Why are hockey players great at dating? They always break the ice!
  9. Why was the tiny ghost asked to join the hockey team? They needed a little team spirit!
  10. What’s a dentist’s favorite hockey team? The Floss Angeles Kings!
  11. Why did the hockey player get a penalty during dinner? For tripping over the blue line!
  12. Why can’t you play hockey with pigs? They always hog the puck!
  13. What do hockey players sing when they celebrate a win? “Chill Out” by the Ice-tones!
  14. Why do hockey referees love their jobs? They get to make ice-cold calls!
  15. How do you know a hockey player is good at his job? He achieves his goals!
  16. Why did the hockey team visit the bakery? They needed a good roll to win!
  17. What’s a ghost’s favorite hockey position? Ghoulie!
  18. Why was the math book at the hockey game? To multiply the checks!
  19. Why did the hockey player fail at fishing? He kept getting hooked!
  20. What do you call a snowman at a hockey game? An icicle winger!
  21. Why did the hockey game get too hot? Because of all the fans!
  22. How do hockey players stay cool? By sitting next to the fans!
  23. Why did the hockey player carry string? To tie up the game!
  24. What’s a hockey player’s least favorite musical? “Annie, Get Your Puck!”
  25. Why did the puck go to school? To get a little brrrr-ainer!


From the Rink to the Punchline: Hilarious Hockey Wordplay

  1. Why do hockey players make great magicians? Because they always have a few tricks up their sleeves!
  2. Why was the computer cold at the hockey game? It left its Windows open!
  3. I wanted to play defense, but I’m afraid I’d just ice the job interview!
  4. You can’t run on the ice, that’s why I’m a hockey player, not a track star!
  5. Hockey players are great at math; they really know how to use a sin binomial equation!
  6. I told my friend I’m a hockey goalie. He said, “Well, save it for the ice.”
  7. Why do hockey teams never get tired? Because they get plenty of ice rests!
  8. Why don’t hockey players drink tea? Because they always prefer penalty boxes!
  9. If you date a hockey player, you’ll always stick together.
  10. Why did the hockey player bring string to the game? To tie up the score!
  11. I told my friend to chill out at the hockey game, but he took it too literally and became the puck.
  12. Why did the hockey team go to space? To catch the stars!
  13. Why don’t hockey players get blamed? Because the puck stops here!
  14. Hockey players always carry a spare puck; they don’t want to be caught off guard!
  15. If you need an ark to survive a flood, I Noah guy with great hockey stick-manship!
  16. Did you hear about the hockey player who works at a restaurant? He’s a great goalie-tender!
  17. Why was the hockey book so popular? It had a lot of goals in it!
  18. Why did the hockey puck make a great detective? It was always getting to the bottom of the net!
  19. Don’t fight with a hockey player. They always stick up for themselves!
  20. Why was the hockey rink hot after the game? All the fans left!
  21. What’s a hockey player’s preferred type of music? Anything with a good slapshot beat!
  22. I got a job at the hockey rink, but it’s only temporary…just until the Zamboni melts!
  23. Why are hockey players so good at solving puzzles? They really know how to connect the dots!


Stick-Handling the Humor: Jokes That Score in Overtime

  1. Why don’t hockey players drink tea? Because the Canadiens and the Bruins!
  2. I tried to start a professional hide and seek team, but it turns out good players are hard to find.
  3. What do you call a dentist who doesn’t like tea? Denis Potvin.
  4. Why do hockey players make terrible comedians? They always punch up the puck line!
  5. Did you hear about the hockey player who broke his leg during a game? He’s out for the season, but his career isn’t on thin ice yet.
  6. I asked the hockey puck if it had a good time at the party. It said it was just chilling in the corner.
  7. Why did the hockey team go to the bank? To get their goalie back!
  8. Why don’t hockey players use paper? Because they always ice the puck!
  9. Ever heard of the hockey player who became a magician? He’s great at hat tricks!
  10. Why did the puck break up with the hockey stick? It was tired of being slapped around!
  11. What do you get when you cross a hockey player with a magician? A face-off illusionist!
  12. Why are hockey players bad at relationships? They can’t handle the puck up lines!
  13. Why don’t hockey players work in construction? They only know how to shoot and score, not nail and hammer!
  14. Why do hockey players prefer cold weather? Because it’s perfect for icing!
  15. What’s a hockey player’s favorite kind of music? Hip check-hop!
  16. Why was the hockey book so suspenseful? It had too many face-offs!
  17. Why do hockey players do well in school? They know how to stick to their goals!
  18. What’s a hockey player’s favorite kitchen appliance? The Zamboni… it cleans the ice so well!
  19. Why couldn’t the hockey player read the alphabet? Because he always got lost after C.
  20. Why do hockey players always carry a spare stick? In case they get locked out of the house!
  21. How do hockey players stay cool? By sitting next to the fans!
  22. Why was the computer cold at the hockey game? It left its Windows open!
  23. Why did the hockey player cross the rink? To get to the penalty box on time!
  24. What’s a hockey player’s least favorite movie? “The Puck Stops Here.”
  25. Why don’t hockey players do well in school? They can’t handle the puck up lines!


  1. Why don’t hockey players get cold? Because they hang out in the penalty box to warm up!
  2. Have you heard about the hockey player who doubles as a magician? He’s great at hat tricks!
  3. What does a hockey player and a magician have in high demand? Their goal-den touch!
  4. Why are hockey rinks great for party venues? Because there’s always plenty of ice for the drinks!
  5. Why did the hockey player get a job at the bakery? Because he was a great roll model!
  6. Hockey players are great at dating, they always break the ice with ease!
  7. Why couldn’t the hockey player read the map? Because he kept getting lost in the face-off circles!
  8. What’s a hockey player’s favorite kind of tea? Penal-tea!
  9. I went to a fight and a hockey game broke out – talk about a power play!
  10. Why don’t hockey players use paper? Because they always play on ice!
  11. What do you call an out-of-shape hockey player? A puck potato!
  12. Why are ghosts bad at hockey? They always go through the boards!
  13. Why was the hockey team good at math? Because they knew how to use the power of play!
  14. I tried to play hockey with a broken stick, but it was pointless.
  15. Why did the hockey puck make a terrible comedian? It kept getting iced by the audience!
  16. How do you keep your hockey team from spending too much money? Put them on a budget penalty kill!
  17. Why don’t hockey players drink tea? Because they prefer penalty boxes to teabags!
  18. Why did the hockey player get a penalty for playing cards? He was caught tripping the queen!
  19. Why are hockey players like old smartphones? They both need a good charge to keep them going!
  20. Why was the hockey player in art class? He wanted to learn how to draw a penalty!
  21. Why do hockey players work for NASA? They’re experts at space-checking!
  22. Why did the hockey team visit the zoo? To learn more about penalty boxes!
  23. Do you know why hockey players are great travelers? They never get puck-ed down by jet lag!
  24. Why did the hockey player sit in the penalty box? He needed some icing on his cake!
  25. Why was the computer so good at hockey? It mastered the key-board check!


Winning at Wordplay: Hockey Puns That Deserve a Trophy

  1. Don’t puck with me, I’ve got ice in my veins!
  2. That player’s a real puck-up artist on the ice.
  3. I tried to write a book on hockey, but the story kept going into overtime.
  4. You can’t just wing it, you need to stick to the goal!
  5. I told my friend he didn’t understand hockey puns. He got the puck line wrong!
  6. Hockey players are great at dating; they always break the ice.
  7. Are you a hockey puck? Because you’ve got me spinning.
  8. That goalie is so good, he’s a real puck-stopper!
  9. These hockey puns are like a power play – they always score!
  10. Did you hear about the hockey player who works at a bakery? He’s the best at icing!
  11. Why was the hockey team so bad at geometry? They kept missing the angles!
  12. If you want a stable relationship, date a hockey player. They don’t mind being on thin ice!
  13. I asked the hockey player for his number, but he said he only gives away assists.
  14. Did you hear about the goalie who wrote poetry? He was a net-worker!
  15. When a hockey player is cooking, you know there’s going to be good bakes and great breaks!
  16. You can’t spell fundamentals without fun, ice, and a mental game!
  17. Why don’t hockey teams drink tea? Because the Canadiens and Bruins would rather have cups!
  18. Why was the computer cold at the hockey game? It left its Windows open!
  19. Why do hockey players make great musicians? They always hit the right notes on the ice!
  20. If laughter was a sport, these hockey puns would make us all MVPs!


The Power Play of Puns: Combining Hockey with Hilarity

Alright, folks, let’s lace up our skates and dive into the fun zone with some stick-tacular hockey humor! You know, hockey players might spend their time on the ice, but their wit is far from frozen—it’s all about that power play of puns. Imagine a puck flying at the speed of light and the announcer says, “Well, that’s what we call lightning puck!” Or picture this: two goalies at a cafe and one says, “I’ll save you a seat!” Trust me, when hockey and hilarity combine, you’re in for a real treat. So, let’s not just score goals but let’s net some laughs too because when it comes to hockey puns, we’re always on the winning team. Now, go out there and show ’em you’ve got as much game in humor as you do on the ice!